


A Tale in Which Sgrub Doesn't Exist and Feferi Holds a Gala

by Guitarlove



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, F/M, Gen, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, There are other relationships in the background, don't worry gay will show up later on
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 19:08:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13687938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Guitarlove/pseuds/Guitarlove
Summary: At seven sweeps old, Nepeta Leijon and Equius Zahhak have been moirails for quite some time. One day, the each receive invitations to celebrate Feferi Peixes's seventh wiggling day. This prompts Equius to push his moirail to a new relationship in different quadrant....but maybe he's wrong? Or maybe things are far more complicated than he expected?





	A Tale in Which Sgrub Doesn't Exist and Feferi Holds a Gala

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction was literally started waaaaay back in May, 2014! I hope you guys enjoy it! Thought it'd be fitting to post the first chapter on Valentine's Day. :D

**Be Nepeta Leijon === >**

You are now Nepeta Leijon, and you are quite bored this evening. It is currently raining, meaning you cannot possibly hunt at the moment. Not just because the ground outside gets muddy, also water is evil. This is an indisputable fact.  
You decide RPing with your friends could entertain yourself. You grab your green tablet, but before you open up Trollian, you see a number next to your email. Huh. Strange most people don’t email you. This must be pretty serious!  
You open up the new online letter, only to be greeted by a formal message.

_Dear acquaintance of )(er Imperial Heiress,_

_Two perigees from now, on the dim season’s third equinox, there will be a gala held for )(er Imperial Heiress’s seventh wiggling day. The gala will be held in )(er Imperial Heiress’s above-ground palace._   
_The most regal attire affordable is required. You may invite one of your quadrantmates as a guest. If you have multiple quadrants filled, you must chose one. If one is an ashen mate, you may bring both._   
_Please reply with an R.S.V.P. by the next perigee if you plan on attending. Once you R.S.V.P., we will send you a new message with more details._

_From,_   
_House of )(er Imperial Condescension_

Feferi is having a gala for her wiggling day?

And she invited you?

You better tell Equius immediately!

**arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]**

AC: :33 < *ac stalks up behind her meowrail*  
AC: :33 < *she readies for a pounce*  
CT: D --> *The moirail in question sees her instantly*  
AC: :33 < *she jumps high in the sky!!*  
AC: :33 < *wooooosh!*  
CT: D --> *The mu%uclar man regards this as f001ishness*  
CT: D --> *He does not attempt to avoid the attack*  
AC: :33 < *ac tackles him to the ground*  
AC: :33 < *robot purrts fly efurrywhere!*  
AC: :33 < *she lets go of him after a few fl33ting moments*  
AC: :33 < *since she has some great news!*  
CT: D --> *He has similar fortunious news*  
CT: D --> C001d we stop this now  
AC: :33 < yes thats fine  
CT: D --> E%ellent  
CT: D --> What news did you have  
AC: :33 < i was invited to a gala being held by fefurry!  
AC: :33 < and im totally bringing you with me!  
AC: :33 < this is not optional!!  
CT: D --> So she was able to invite all of us  
AC: :33 < you already knew??  
CT: D --> My apologies  
CT: D --> That was the news I had  
CT: D --> She sent me a  
CT: D --> Personal invitation  
AC: :33 < :OO!!  
AC: :33 < thats great news!!  
AC: :33 < were purretty good furriends  
AC: :33 < and i got a supurr formal invitation  
CT: D --> What  
CT: D --> Really  
AC: :33 < yes yess yessssss  
AC: :33 < could you send it me?  
CT: D --> I suppose  
CT: D --> One moment  
CT: D --> Here’s a copy of it  
**\-- centaursTesticle [CT] sent arsenicCatnip [AC] “HerImperialinvitation” --**

You give it a look...oh..oh wow.

_Dear -Equius,_   
_H---E--E--E--Y! I’m having a gala for my seventh wiggling day, and you’re invited! You betta be there, or I will be pretty disappointed. Luckily, I was given permission to invite ALL of my FRONDS! 38D_   
_I decided to let Nepeta’s invitation speak for all of the relative, boring information. I’m SUP--ER ----EXCIT---ED for this! It’ll be a lot of fun._   
_Oh, and yes all of us includes -Eridan. I know he doesn’t really swim along well with her, but prawnestly, I don’t sea that as a bad thing. 38;)_   
_P.S. That face was me taking off my goggles and winking._   
_Feferi Peixes, Empress to Be!_

AC: :33 < that was better than i thought!  
AC: :33 < she most definitely likes you  
AC: :33 < i had some doubts but now i know  
CT: D --> You think so  
AC: :33 < i know so!  
AC: :33 < i wonder  
AC: :33 < what was she talking about with ampurra and me?  
CT: D --> Erm  
CT: D --> I’m not e%actly  
CT: D --> Sure  
CT: D --> Perhaps we sh001d change topi%  
AC: :33 < sounds good to me!  
AC: :33 < oooh!  
AC: :33 < we should ask kanaya to make matching outfits!  
CT: D --> Of course  
CT: D --> Who else w001d we ask  
AC: :33 < well be the best looking moirails there!  
CT: D --> But Nepeta  
CT: D --> We already are  
AC: :33 < h33 h33 h33!!  
AC: :33 < that’s true!  
CT: D --> I’ll ask her  
CT: D --> I wanted to speak with her anyway  
AC: :33 < about what?  
CT: D --> Nothing  
CT: D --> Important  
AC: :33 < okkkkaaaaay then  
AC: :33 < oh it finally stopped raining!  
AC: :33 < i better go!  
AC: :33 < bye equius!  
CT: D --> Goodbye

**arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]**

Alright, hunting time! You double, triple make sure you are armed with your claw gloves. As you walk outside the cave, moonlight creeps in the corners and spikes. You hear something growl, a very distinctive growl at that. You also notice you don’t smell the rain. Strange, your nose is excellent at picking up such scents. You smell something else, it’s one you haven’t sniffed in a while.  
It wasn’t rain you heard.  
It was tw-three chlorebears. One of them being a mother chlorebear.

You can do this.

You size up the smallest beast, most likely just a cub. You know going for that one is a terrible idea, it’ll just make the significantly stronger mother angry. You climb up the tallest tree you can find. You hide in the second tallest branch, covering yourself in the dark green leaves.  
Purrfect. Now you just have to wait for the right moment to strike.

The second largest chlorebear, not sure if related to the mother and cub, you figure is the best to fight first. Again, you wait. Waiting, Pounce taught you through growls and repetition during lessons, is one of the most important aspects of the hunt. You can’t wait too long, or else they’ll spot you. You can’t wait too shortly, either, or you’ll just be setting yourself up for an ambush.  
You’ve done a number of solo missions by now, so you know when the correct time to strike is by heart.  
Your target moves further away from the mother and cub, and towards another nearby clearing. From your knowledge of the forest, it seems he’s going towards a stream. The kink in his silver armor becomes visible for the briefest of moments. Yes, this is the right time.  
You ready your claws, pounce from your perch, and land a strike on his neck. Candy red blood spills on your coat and shirt. Most of it lands on the armored back. He growls loudly, tries to shake you off. You hold your ground using your left claws and right hand in his wound.  
He growls even louder, you struggle to stay still. He manages to get your claw free, blood gushing everywhere on you and him. His roar becomes less of anger and more of pain. Which, you regrettably note is much louder.  
He falls to the ground with a thud. The mother and cub noticed you.

You can handle this. You’ve done tougher hunts before and you’ll do more later.

The cub goes to strike first, but you ignore him and go for the mother. You go for her forehead, leaping off her child to reach. You get her between her black eyes, and quickly slice all your blades down her face.  
That didn’t do much, but you knew it wouldn’t. She roars at you, tries to grab you with her front paws. You simply crawl over her and scratch the weakest part of her plated back. You keep scratching until it finally breaks with a creak.  
You rip it off with your bare hands.  
You then re-claw yourself and give every ounce of strength to claw her now partially bare back.  
She roars in pain, doing her best to shake you off. By this point, the cub has left the clearing. She manages to free herself of you. You don’t mind, one chlorebear will last you for weeks.

After much dragging and struggling, you got your prize back to your hive.

You were just going to eat and go to sleep, it’s been a very long day, but you noticed you missed a few messages.

One was from...oh..oh God no.

NO.

**caliginousAquarium [CA] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]**

CA: oh hey nep  
CA: you knoww wwhat wwas fan-FUCKIN-tastic  
CA: wwhen you actually answwered in a timely manner  
CA: seriously noww  
CA: howw long wwill you make me wwait  
AC: :|| < oh god ampurra what do you want???  
CA: oh there you are  
CA: wwhat took you so long  
CA: like seriously wwhat the fuck  
AC: :33 < i had to hunt, sea douche  
AC: :33 < got an armored chlorebear  
CA: all by yourself  
CA: completely solo  
AC: :\\\ < uh yeah??  
AC: :33 < thats kind of what i do  
AC: :33 < on a daily basis  
CA: holy shit  
CA: look this isnt wwhat i evven wwanted to discuss  
AC: :33 < look ampurra  
AC: :33 < id r333333ally rather not stalk you  
AC: :33 < crap i meant stalk with you  
AC: xoo < omg i meant talk to you  
CA: is it just me or is it a tad hot in here  
AC: :33 < ampurra do me a favor  
CA: wwhat  
AC: :33 < choke on your owwn pretentious scarf  
CA: nep im gettin some really mixed signals here  
CA: like are you interested or not  
CA: serious question time  
CA: woah look how serious im being  
CA: what is that a g at the end of the word  
CA: and not a single double w in sight  
AC: :33 < look let me make this as plain as possible  
AC: :33 < id rather go black with equius than you  
CA: ok this is exactly wwhat im sayin  
CA: that was SO OBVVIOUSLY meant to be a pick up line  
CA: dont evven fuckin lie  
AC: :|| < ......  
AC: :// < okay i am just done talking to you

**\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] blocked caliginousAquarium [CA] --**

 

**Be Equius == >**

You are now Equius Zahhak. You have just finished a conversation with your moirail. You decide it’d be best if you go ahead and talk to Kanaya.

**centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling grimAuxillitrax [GA]**

CT: D --> Hello Miss Maryam  
CT: D --> I believe I require your assistance  
GA: Oh Hello There Equius  
GA: I Wasnt Expecting You To Invade My Trollian Window Tonight  
GA: What Do You Require  
CT: D --> Did you get invited to Pei%es gala  
GA: Of Course  
GA: Im Guessing You Would Like Me To Fashion Outfits For Yourself And Nepeta  
GA: Correct  
CT: D --> Er  
CT: D --> Yes e%actly  
GA: To Be Honest Im Glad You Asked  
GA: Your Colors Are Quite Compatible  
GA: Unlike Other Couples Who Are Sure To Attend  
GA: Aside From Perhaps Aradia And Sollux  
GA: But I Have Doubts They Will Ask Me For My Expertise  
GA: Better Than Karkats Grey And Terezis Teal  
GA: Those Colors Simply Do Not Mesh Well  
GA: My Apologies I Appear To Have Started Rambling Again  
CT: D --> I understand  
CT: D --> Though I was wondering if I may make a  
CT: D --> Suggestion  
GA: Oh  
GA: What Did You Have In Mind  
CT: D --> Well  
CT: D --> Nepeta c001d use some pushing in a certain direction  
CT: D --> When it comes to one of her quadrants  
GA: Youre Talking About Her Obvious Black Crush Arent You  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> Whenever it is brought up  
CT: D --> She simply denies to no end in sight  
CT: D --> She a% as if she has no interest in black romance at all  
GA: An A Next To A Percent Sign  
CT: D --> Acts  
CT: D --> Which continues to astound me  
GA: This  
GA: Frustrates You Quite A Lot  
CT: D --> Is it that obvious  
GA: Yes  
GA: I Wonder Why She Has No Interest  
GA: Though I Must Admit I Share Similar Sentiments  
GA: So How Does This Factor In The Designs  
CT: D --> Perhaps you c001d sneak in some  
CT: D --> Violet in the design  
GA: Oh I See Now  
GA: I Will Definitely Take This Suggestion To Heart  
CT: D --> E%ellent  
GA: Oh Equius  
CT: D --> Yes  
GA: Are You And Miss Peixes Official  
CT: D --> Erm  
CT: D --> No  
GA: Alright If I Add Fuchsia The Accents Will Be Subtle  
GA: One Last Question  
CT: D --> Go ahead  
GA: Why Do You Want Nepeta And Ampora Together  
GA: I Understand She Does Like Him In That Way  
GA: Just From A Few Conversations Weve Shared  
GA: But Should You Really Force Your Hand Like This  
CT: D --> I understand your concern  
CT: D --> Of course I cannot divulge every reason I have  
GA: Yes Of Course I Expected Such  
CT: D --> To be blunt  
CT: D --> I’ve been worried about her  
CT: D --> Survival  
GA: Oh My Gosh I Did Not Realize The Situation Was So Dire  
CT: D --> She hides it well  
CT: D --> I didn’t put it together until half a sweep ago  
CT: D --> I’d prefer not to delve any deeper than this  
GA: I Understand  
GA: I Shall Contact You Once I’m Prepared For Fittings  
GA: Do Not Worry About Arrangements Of Your Arrival  
GA: I Have Plans Already  
CT: D --> Farewell

**centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling grimAuxilitrax [GA]**

 

 You’re about to leave your computer, when you see a number popping on your messenger.

 

**caliginousAquarium [CA] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]**

CA: hey muscledouche  
CA: wwe need to talk  
CA: noww  
CT: D --> What is it  
CA: nep blocked me  
CA: i asked her if she wwent spades wwise  
CA: got upset and blocked me  
CT: D --> This  
CT: D --> Complicates matters  
CA: you THINK  
CA: wwhat are you wwe supposed to be do about it noww, huh  
CA: wwhats your plan  
CT: D --> I believe it w001d be best if we discuss this  
CT: D --> Offline  
CA: alright fine  
CA: send me directions to your gross hivve  
CT: D --> One moment  
CT: D --> Here

**centaursTesticle [CT] sent caliginousAquarium [CA] “Directionstothehive.jpg”**

CA: thanks i guess  
CA: should i just go noww  
CT: D --> Yes that’d be for the best  
CT: D —> I marked a few caves you can rest in during the day  
CA: wwhatever  
CA: bye

**caliginousAquarium [CA] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]**

 


End file.
